Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it
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Pregnancy Massage Therapy: A Holistic Approach for Maternal and Infant Well-being - Pregnancy Massage Therapy: A Holistic Approach for Maternal and Infant Well-being - In this modern era, expectant mothers often face increasing pressure fr...
Men's top sex secrets!
Why He Won't Propose
It is not unusual to get antsy about ascending to the next stage in your relationship, especially when you see friends of the same age (or younger!) already in the land of happily ever after. Of course, not everyone needs a ring to create a lifetime commitment with their partner, but for those who do want to get married, waiting for the proposal can be agonizing.
So, why in the world isn't he proposing?
Men Don't Hear the Clock Ticking.
While men are fertile well into elderly years (Hello, Hef!), the biological clock keeps a different timetable for women. Even though medical advancements can now allow women to have babies well into their forties, the chances of conceiving and carrying a healthy baby to term decrease rapidly with age. Men often do not realize the extent of this fertility timetable, and even if they do, they might not feel the same pressure to settle down. The good news as to why he hasn't proposed yet? It's not you -- it's Mother Nature.
Men Dread the Big Day.
Not all women dream of the big day and the white gown, but many do. As a result, some women crave marriage more than men, simply because they can't wait to be princess for a day! However, the groom-to-be usually feels something akin to dread -- not because he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with his blushing bride, but because he doesn't want to spend hours deciding table arrangements or corralling his family into a reception hall. The upshot? Be sure your man knows your future wedding isn't going to be a three-ring circus, and get him thinking about possible honeymoon spots. The thought of you in a bikini in Aruba might get him down on one knee.
Men Want to Be Prepared.
Yes, romantic comedies make spontaneous proposals look tempting, but the truth is that marriages fare better in situations where the finances and big life decisions are already planned out. If you and your significant other haven't seriously discussed marriage, let alone where you will live, if you will have kids, etc., chances are that he hasn't proposed because your relationship isn't prepared for that next step. The cure? Figure out if your life plans are on the same track by casually mentioning your own future goals, whether it is to own a business, buy a house, or have a baby.
Men Fear the Proposal Moment.
Have you ever thought about how scary it must be to plan what is supposed to be the most romantic moment of you and your partner's life? From JumboTron proposals to hiding engagement rings inside of Crab Rangoon, previous grooms have created a lot for your partner to live up to. Assuage his fears by letting him know that skywriting is nice, but sweet, simple gestures are best.
Finally, if you know that you are ready for the next step in your relationship, but you still haven't seen any bling, you might want to consider summoning up your bravery and popping the question yourself! ( lifestyle.yahoo.com )
Dating online? Beware of grammar errors!
Zoe Hazelwood, psychologist at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT), who led the study, has found that traditional and online dating are, in fact, very similar.
For example, she found non-verbal communication was also just as important in online dating as it was in traditional dating, according to a QUT statement.
"Although online traditional non-verbal cues are not present, in our research we found people do judge potential partners on things aside from what they are saying," she said.
"People form impressions online based on things like spelling errors, use of acronyms, amount of exclamation marks, use of grammar - things like that.
"They may not pursue a relationship with someone if they do not like their writing style, or feel they have poor spelling."
Another habit that is present in traditional and online dating was the tendency to present ourselves as - just slightly - more interesting and interested than we actually are at the start of a relationship.
Online dating has also allowed an avenue for people young and old to reach out and find connections, said Hazelwood.
"One of the things I found pleasing was that online dating stretched across all age groups," she said. "In our research, one of the participants was a 76-year-old female. She and her partner, who was the same age, met online and were getting married."
Hazelwood's research found that traditional daters and online daters had roughly the same relationship success rate - despite many people believing that online dating was not as likely to be as successful as traditional dating. ( indiatimes.com )
Top ten online dating tips
It's hard enough being single - for whatever reason - without friends trying to set you up on double dates or drag you along to the nearest speed dating event. Nowadays, with the growth of online dating, it's much easier to sit at home and chat via computer than meet people face to face in the real world and make that initial contact with them.
Top ten online dating tips for the romantic inside you
But if you want to get the most from online dating there are some key 'rules' and top tips that can really make the difference. If you're looking for friendship, love or companionship and are considering online dating (as over 30,000 other Kindred Spirits members already have) then you should follow our top ten tips for first time online daters.
The essential photograph
Online dating without a profile photograph is like buying a car from eBay without seeing a picture – pointless. You've got more chance of changing a traffic warden's mind before they give you a ticket than you have of piquing a potential date's interest without a decent photo. Therefore ask a friend or relative to help you out. Maybe you’re shy or worried people you know might find you (workmates, perhaps). If it’s the former, buck up. You’ve made a brave step by joining, but you’ve got to complete that step to make it worthwhile. If it’s the latter, then take pride, and make your profile the best profile anyone ever clapped eyes on.
Age of your photo
Your main photo should be no more than four years old. If you look preposterously more attractive in it than you do in real life, that's fair enough, if it really is a recent photo of you. However, to prevent a date's crushing disappointment followed by bitter resentment, you should include some more realistic shots in your extra photos.
Best strawberry on top
Write your profile. Read it through. Take the best bit and make it the first sentence, then re-write. Online profiles are like articles in a flicked though newspaper: if they don’t grab you immediately, you don’t read them.
Choose wisely
Pick a friend and get them to write a few sentences. Rather than picking the person who knows you best, pick a good writer or a witty friend (because this is an advert, not a confessional).
The truth will out
“I look 29, so it’s OK to say that I am.” claimed one 35 year-old. “I live in Birmingham, but I’ve said London because I go there often” said another girl. Women’s lies tend to be subtler and more easily rationalised than men’s blundering fibs about height etc., but that does not make them better. Just be truthful, white lies always come out in the end.
Activities
It's unacceptable to claim that you are still involved in activities that you haven't indulged in for years. “Keen gymnast”, for example, when you haven't vaulted a horse since your early teens, is not on. However, if you're just in a lull - perhaps you like swimming in the sea, haven't done it for three years, but are keen and able to do it again - then that's fine to include.
Once you have uploaded all your relevant pictures and information...
Your matches
Click ‘my matches’ on your home page, and you will see people who best fit your specified criteria (‘my ideal match’ in your profile), and the people that you fit best. The more specific you’ve been, the more specific the results.
How to deal with responses, or lack of them...
Some people get loads of mail and simply don’t have time to respond to every one. Some have abandoned the site but left their profiles on. Some just don’t feel compatible with you, even if they did initially... Basically, it’s complicated, but often people just don’t reply. You mustn’t let it put you off.
Take time
Taking time to get to know somebody with emails and a phone call before meeting is the key to online dating. Possibly patronising to include this, but, if you want to be certain about a person's intentions, hold back for a few dates. If they’re still around, chances are that it’s you, and not just the act, that they’re after.
When you finally do find that special someone and agree to meet up...
Meet somewhere interesting
Arrange to meet somewhere like a book shop, local monument or on a village green. The person who arrives first will have something to look at and do while waiting, and something to talk about immediately. ( telegraph.co.uk )
“What I Learned About Sex After 50”
Slowing down is sensual
“When I was younger, I hated hearing about how it takes you longer to respond sexually as you get older... but now that I am older, I realize it’s a blessing. I think it’s especially true that men feel this slowing down more than women... but that just gives them more time for foreplay, and I for one am not complaining about that!” – Deborah, 52, Great Neck, NY Lights out!
“When you hit 50, gravity’s begun to work on your body. I think that as a result of this, some of us are a little less inclined to feel comfortable with our bodies, or at least to the same degree that we were in our younger years. Because of this, I found that a dimmer switch is a really great thing to have until you and your partner get comfortable with one another. ‘Mood lighting’ just helps take the edge off things!” – Mark, 57, Thousand Oaks, CA
More experience means everyone’s happy!
“I actually enjoy sex a lot more than I did back when I was younger. Because I’m more experienced now than I was then, I am more attuned to what it is that I like. I’m also definitely more skilled than I was when I was less experienced, so I guess my partners are more thankful than they were back then, which also makes it a more enjoyable experience for me.” – Sharon, 55, Waco, TX
The butterflies don’t go away
“I’ve learned that even though I am much older than I was when I was first sexually active, I still have all of those nervous feelings before getting into bed with someone, and I still wonder about the same things: will I be good, will he be good, will the sex be good? It’s funny how that giddy nervousness still crops up, but that’s part of the thrill, I guess!” – Carole, 56, New York, NY
Creativity counts
“You know the phrase, ‘There’s more than one way to cook a chicken’? Well, when you’re in your 50s and have been having sex for quite some time, you’ve kind of gone through all of the recipes, if you catch my drift. Therefore, you kind of have to get inventive or it can get old. I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find out that the women I date are as into trying new ‘recipes’ as I am. I guess you sort of have to or sex can get really predictable.” – Robbie, 52, Coral Springs, FL
Buh-bye, birth control
“As most of the women I date have gone through menopause, the issue of getting one of them pregnant isn’t there, which is a huge relief! I used to be so consumed with worrying about that when I was sexually active in my 20s and 30s. Not having to be concerned with it now is great; being able to have sex without that cloud of worry hanging over your head makes sex a lot more enjoyable, I think.” – Bart, 59, Henderson, NV
You can be Mrs. (or Mr.) Robinson
“This may sound silly, but I have been dating some younger men over the last couple of years, and it is very exciting to know that they are interested in being with an older, more ‘experienced’ woman... that I can teach them a thing or two in the bedroom. I have spoken to some of my guy friends and they have had the same sentiments about dating younger women. Maybe it’s all the Hollywood imagery we’ve been exposed to, but there is something that’s a real turn-on about that situation. It’s made me feel very strong and sensual and in control. I highly recommend it!” – Juliana, 58, St. Louis, MO ( msn.com )
Five Wise Ways To Save Your Marriage
1. Be Willing To Work on Your Marriage
Couples need to be willing to pick up the pieces and work with their spouse. Humble yourselves to each other. So many times couples blame one another for the disarray of the marriage because they are hurting inside. No one wants to feel hurt, pain and suffering. But what happens when we don’t even try to forgive? The broken pieces of the marriage remain on the floor!
If no one is willing to pick up the pieces the marriage will remain broken. Negative emotions, past baggage, guilt and vulnerability will be carried with you into the next marriage or relationship. Don’t think that remarriage is going to make you happy or solve your problems. That’s not reality. The reality is you can pick up the pieces and resolve your martial problems and be a better marriage partner because of it.
2. Change Attitude From “Don’t Care” to Committed
So how do you change an attitude from “don’t care” to committed? You just do it. Understand that you probably walked into the marriage with non-commitment, even though your feelings told you otherwise. This day and age, many of us have not been taught the value of marriage, and many of us don’t know what the bible says about marriage. This “don’t care” attitude about the sanctity of marriage is what is killing marriages and families. What does God say about marriage? God says marriage is for a lifetime.
3. Forgive and Encourage Daily
Realize it’s not just the big things that need forgiveness, but the everyday small things too. Forgiveness works very closely with acceptance. In marriage couples need to accept and tolerate the person they married. Forgive your husband for leaving the toilet seat up and watching too much television. Forgive your wife for not being a good cook or house cleaner. Do these small things really mean an end to the marriage?
We all have areas that need improved on. The best way to improve on ourselves is to encourage each other. Does that seem backwards to you? It is not backwards when you look at the big picture. When you encourage the person you married, you will be lifting them up in spirit, and in turn, they will see the positive aspects in you and do the same. Couples absolutely need to encourage one another every day. Instead of finding fault and bringing each other down, find the good in one another and bring each other up.
4. Appreciate Each Other More
This area in marriage is greatly lacking. Do you want to know why? Some of us take our marriage and everything in it for granted. Some of us never stop to think about all that our spouse does for us. Do we expect too much from the person we married. We somehow think that if only they would do this, or change to be like that, and then we would be happy. But this kind of thinking is not reality, is it?
Stop and notice your marriage. When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciate them for all they do? Don’t let the doldrums of marriage make you emotionally lazy. Show your appreciation in acts of kindness and love every single day of your marriage.
5. Realize Who The Creator of Marriage Is
God has already laid out the architectural design for a marriage. He has given us the wisdom and the knowledge to live marriage God’s way! If we manage our marriage under our own understanding it will have difficulties and possibly fail. We absolutely have to put God first so we can understand how to love the person we married. God is the Master Architect of marriage and for a happy marriage we need to base our actions on His design. ( heavenministries.com )
Valentine's Day do's & don'ts
Here are 10 scenarios to avoid if you want to have a happy woman next to you this Valentine's Day.
1. What are we doing?
Have a plan. Never "wing it" on Valentine's Day. You need to be the one who decides what the two of you are going to do. Do not just pick her up and say, "So what type of food do you feel like tonight?" This is the one night you need (and are expected to) show your romantic side. Step up and show her that you have one.
2. What kind of flowers are these?
Before you buy flowers for your girl, gather some key information. It is important to know what kind of flowers she likes. And one of the biggest mistakes is giving her flowers she is allergic to. Make sure you know of any floral allergies before giving her flowers. If you don't, then she will spend the day sneezing. Even worse, if you send the flowers to her office, her co-workers will be asking her whether you pay any attention to her, and you will be quickly thrown under the Valentine's Day bus.
3. Where did you get these flowers?
Avoid fast flowers. The guy selling roses from the middle of the intersection may look like a convenient idea, but chances are that half the flowers will be broken or wilting before they even get put in a vase. If this happens, you will not look like the romantic guy. You will look like the cheap guy, or the guy who forgot to buy her flowers and had no other choice but to grab flowers from the guy on the freeway off-ramp.
4. How did you find this place?
If dinner reservations are part of your Valentine's Day plan, don't choose any random restaurant. Always do your research. You want to find a great romantic restaurant. A lot of guys will just pick a restaurant they've heard good things about, only to arrive with their date and find it filled with screaming children and video game machines. This is Valentine's Day, so make sure the restaurant you pick serves her favorite foods and, especially, her favorite dessert. If you don't know her favorite dessert, ask her ahead of time. The more you plan out this day, the more special she will feel.
5. Where did you get this?
If you are thinking about getting her a cute stuffed animal, be careful about where you buy it. I can speak from personal experience on this one. About 20 years ago, I had planned nothing for Valentine's Day and had to find my girl a present somewhere on my way home. I saw a guy on the corner who was selling teddy bears with a little heart that said "Happy Valentine's Day." I thought I was lucky. When I brought the bear home, I held it in my hand and knocked on the door. My girlfriend opened the door, and our Golden Retriever jumped up and grabbed the stuffed bear. I thought that was out of character for her, until I realized that there was something my dog was smelling. It turns out there was some kind of animal scent on the teddy bear, and the guy I bought it from had found the stuffed animals on the street. So be careful where you buy things.
6. I can't believe she's here.
Few things will sour a woman on Valentine's Day more quickly than running into your ex-girlfriend. To avoid this, do not take your girl to any place you ever brought your ex-girlfriend on a previous Valentine's Day. Also, don't take your girl to any of your ex- girlfriend's favorite restaurants. Valentine's Day is a day that women like to remember. So you want to start a new tradition together. Pick a place that will be "your place."
7. You think I can fit in that?
If you are thinking of buying your girl lingerie for Valentine's Day, be absolutely sure you know her size. This is really important. If you buy lingerie that is the wrong size -- whether too big or too small -- you will ruin the evening in very quick order. If you come home with lingerie that is too small, she will think, "Oh my God, do I look fat? Am I fat? Does he think I'm fat?" When she attempts to try it on and discovers she can't fit into it, she will feel completely unattractive. Buying her lingerie that is too big is equally disastrous. In her mind she will wonder, "Does he think I'm this big?" There is almost nothing you can do that is worse than making your girl feel unattractive on Valentine's Day.
8. You know I can't eat that.
Respect her diet. Let's say that your girlfriend is on a diet or in the middle of a cleanse when Valentine's Day arrives. She is trying to take care of herself. Nevertheless, you listen to your buddy who tells you he bought some fancy chocolates for his girl, and so you get a box of those chocolates too. Buying your girlfriend chocolates when you know she is dieting is telling her that you have absolutely no support for her. A woman wants to know that you are aware of where she is in her life. Pick something else that shows her that you're thinking of her.
9. You shouldn't have...really.
Stick to an appropriate budget. One of the biggest mistakes a guy can make on Valentine's Day is buying lavish gifts for a woman he hasn't known for very long. Say you just met at a party a couple of weeks ago and she said yes to a Valentine's Day dinner with you. Do not go overboard and send some ridiculously large gift basket to her. Do not show up to dinner with three dozen roses in hand and a mariachi band to sing her a love song. If you're newly dating, chances are she didn't buy you anything. By going overboard, you are not making her feel special.You are making her feel uncomfortable. Instead, give her a simple card or a simple flower -- it will speak volumes.
10. Do you know what day it is?
Don't blow it off. The number-one biggest mistake men can make on Valentine's Day is not acknowledging it at all. You need to understand that it is a very real and important holiday to most women. So you never want to just do nothing on Valentine's Day. It is easy to make her feel special if you keep the above tips in mind. Start by wishing her a happy Valentine's Day first thing in the morning. Never wait until your nighttime plans; otherwise she may worry that you forgot. The longer you wait to acknowledge the day, the worse your night is going to be, and the more insensitive you are going to seem in her eyes. ( yahoo.com )
Want happy children?
Family therapist David Code has claimed that children become demanding and dissatisfied if parents obsess over all aspects of their lives.
He argues that the 'greatest gift' you can give a child is to set them an example with a healthy, happy marriage.
Kirsty Young with her husband Nick Jones: Young said 'cult' of pushy parenting 'sickened' her because it was 'the real modern disease'
The ideas in his book To Raise Happy Kids Put Your Marriage First, are the latest salvo in a fiery debate over child-rearing.
The TV and radio presenter Kirsty Young recently said the 'cult' of pushy parenting 'sickened' her and was the 'modern disease'.
Meanwhile psychologist Dr Madeline Levine criticised 'helicopter' parenting - where parents 'hover' over their children's every move - for contributing to depression and anxiety.
Their conclusions appear to be reinforced by the U.S. therapist's book, which says children suffer from having too much attention.
'Today's number one myth about parenting is that the more attention we give our kids, the better they'll turn out,' said Mr Code, who also writes for the Wall Street Journal.
'But we parents have gone too far: our overfocus on our children is doing them more harm than good.
Devoted parents do not necessarily produce happy children, Mr Code argues in the book To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First (posed by model)
'Families centred on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids.'
He added: 'A good marriage sets a great example for your children's future relationships, and that's win-win for the whole family.
'By killing ourselves to provide a perfect, trauma-free childhood for our children, we're wasting our energy.
'The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself.' Mr Code said parents make two main mistakes when they put their children first.
'First, it becomes harder to respect and enforce the boundaries that shape a child's character, so he simply badgers his parents until he gets his way.
Bad Mother and proud
'Future bosses and spouses may not be so patient with this behaviour. Second, we put tremendous pressure on our children to fulfil our emotional needs, which may lead to the child acting out.
'What had been a molehill becomes a mountain, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that can cripple the child's development.'
'This draws even more attention to the problem, as parents seek a diagnosis and physicians increasingly rely on medicating children.' But parents who admit they put their marriages first risk public censure.
Author Ayelet Waldman triggered fury after admitting in 2005 she loved her husband more than her children.
Miss Young made her comments in the Radio Times ahead of her BBC TV series The British Family. She said: 'I think people these days are preoccupied with children as an extension of their own success.
'So we try to funnel them into all these areas of achievement: the Chinese lessons or the Kumon maths - the whole Baby Einstein thing.
'I think that's the real modern disease.' ( dailymail.co.uk )